Karma

Have you ever gotten that sick feeling when you've lost something you can't afford to replace? Definitely had that this weekend. Let me set the scene- I was visiting my engaged friends Bubble Gum and D-Man at their camper. Apparently the thing to do is go racing around in golf carts in the "Back 40" some uncleared land behind the campground. So here we were, it's dark, we're the only ones in the Back 40, there's a storm coming up- wind, lightning, the whole works- and I realize I had lost something. Yeah, D-Man and I lost Bubble Gum.

Now I've known Bubble Gum since high school- we figure we met New Years Eve 2001. Since then we've had our ups, downs and all arounds but here we are, almost 10 years later still friends. I'm even going to be a bridesmaid in the wedding. Or at least I was until the debacle this weekend!

So here's what happened- we had gone out in the golf cart earlier in the evening and all was fine. We went back to the camper, got a few snacks then chilled by their neighbors bonfire until it got dark. Once it was dark, we headed toward the Back 40. One of the last camp sites before the Back 40 belongs to D-Man & Bubble Gum's friends, so we stopped to chat for a few minutes before heading out again.

We had no sooner gotten in the golf cart to leave when Bubble Gum told us she had to pee. So we went til we were out of sight of the campers and D-Man stopped. Bubble Gum got off the back of the golf cart and began walking and singing her way down the trail to pee in privacy. She'd gone about 15 feet when I turned to D-Man and said "Lets leave her!" We were going to pull up the trail a few feet, have a good chuckle then swing back to get her. You know what they say about the best laid plans... well this one wasn't well laid at all.

We waited until she stopped before we took off, what we couldn't see though was the big mud puddle just ahead of our headlights. If D-Man had stopped we would have gotten stuck, so we powered through. Then there was another puddle, we made it through that one too. Then there was the mother ship of all mud puddles. We didn't make it through that one. We looked at each other and both said "Karma!" By this time I know Bubble Gum is PISSED so I jump off the golf cart and start pushing, yelling at D-Man to "Floor it!" I sank up to my ankles in swampy sewage-y smelling mud, I banged my head when I jumped back on the golf cart and I was pretty sure I was going to be out of the wedding at this point. Little did I know, it hadn't even gotten good yet.

We circle around back to where we had left Bubble Gum and WE CAN'T FIND HER. We had an Oh Shit Moment before we both started frantically yelling her name. After about 5 minutes of driving around, searching, yelling and still no Bubble Gum we decided to head back to their friend campsite 1.) to see if she was there and 2.) to recruit help if need be. When we pulled up she wasn't there, they said they hadn't seen her, the wished us luck and kept drinking beer by the fire. I was like "hey, thanks for all your help!" So the search continued. Neither of us had our phones, we didn't want to lose something that important in the Back 40. Huh, imagine that.

So at this point, I'm getting really worried. We see headlights coming up to us, one of their friends Uncle Jimmy came out to help with the search. Uncle Jimmy had his phone, so D-Man used it to call Bubble Gum... no answer. We both drive around for another minute or so when I start thinking like Bubble Gum. Love the girl to death, but she's a little on the sneaky side. So I told D-Man to drop me off at the edge of the woods, I was going to run down to the campsite and see if Bubble Gum was hiding out. He was going to circle around then come get me and keep searching if she wasn't. So here I am sneaking through the woods in my stinking, muddy, squishy tennis shoes trying to find my lost friend. I walk out of the woods, across a little clearing and down the hill to the camp site when I see the little jerk face put her beer down, jump out of a chair and run behind the camper.

She had been there the whole time. Apparently when we took off she fell over, in the mud. Her exact words were "I saw red!" That means we were in big BIG trouble. Then she RAN through the woods to the campsite. Uncle Jimmy was in on it the whole time. He just came out to laugh at D-Man and I. When he saw me jump off the golf cart, he turned his lights off and followed me. So about the time I was approaching the campsite, he was behind me flashing his lights warning Bubble Gum that we were coming.

So I hitch a ride with Uncle Jimmy and we head out to the Back 40 to find D-Man. When we get back to the campsite, everyone's laughing, but Bubble Gum still hadn't come out of hiding. Then we heard the golf cart start up. D-Man had left the keys in it, so Bubble Gum jumped on and took off- leaving us, oh about half a mile from their camper. As she pulled away, her brown hair flowing in the wind, her evil cackling laugh echoed back to us. We were screwed. And I was definitely out of the wedding.

So what started out as an innocent little prank went horribly wrong. Turned out the joke was on us the whole time. Uncle Jimmy let us hitch a ride to the other side of the park when he realized we were going to hoof it. We ended up finding Bubble Gum hanging out at another friends bonfire about halfway back to their camper. We laughed, we cried, eventually we made up. I'm back in the wedding at least, but I'm pretty sure she's sticking me with the short groomsman.

So the morals of the story are 1.) don't leave your friend in the middle of the woods and 2.) don't ever underestimate the sneaky-ness of a pissed off girl with a muddy butt.