Home Made Bread and My Heart

Hi. I know I've been absent for awhile, but you'll have that sometimes, I guess. Hopefully not so much anymore now that I'm coming to you live from my new laptop! (Thanks Santa!!)

Christmas was amazing this year, I got everything on my list AND THEN SOME! And besides that, I spent a lot of quality time with friends and family.

I plan on posting a lot more often. It'll just be easier now that I've got a laptop again. And I've had a few months to thing of some good stuff to say :)

So the last post I left you with was that if something looks too good to be true, it probably is. Here's the story. I fell in love. Completely Swept Off My Feet. Yes, those letters are capitalized for a reason. The only problem with being swept off your feet is it hurts when you fall. Really hurts. My brain is able to rationalize everything and I'm pretty ok with it being over. There were signs, things that just didn't add up quite right- so it's a little easier to be ok with. My heart on the other hand, still just misses him.

When I was a kid I went through this whole Laura Ingalls Wilder phase. I read and re-read all the books and watched the Little House on the Prairie tv show faithfully. I was just into it. So I decided to make home made bread, like the Ingalls had to. Mom bought the yeast, I read the directions so carefully, mixing and kneading, forming the dough. It was winter time, so we had the wood burner going- which was perfect because we put the dough next to it so it could be warm and rise correctly. It smelled so good! When the dough had done its thing and rose properly, I brushed the top with melted butter and put the loaf pans in the oven. 45 minutes later the whole house smelled simply amazing The bread looked fantastic all golden brown and perfect. We had butter and jam set out on the table, ready to spread it on the warm bread. Mom cut the first slice, I buttered it and took a bite. It wasn't good. I took a second bite. Yeah, still not good. How could something that smelled so amazing and looked so perfect be so wrong?

I put 2 tablespoons of salt in the dough instead of 2 teaspoons. So essentially it was doomed from the beginning, I just hadn't realized it yet.

Why did I tell you that story? Because that's pretty much how my relationship with Beau was. It looked perfect, it sounded perfect, but when you got down to it- it just wasn't what it was supposed to be.

The good news about the bread was my grandma's mule, Mike, LOVED it. So I just have to find the man that will love my bread- even though it's not as perfect as it looks. And hopefully this time, he won't be a jackass.